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After sharing so much on consistency and accountability, I took a pause from posting for much longer than intended. Through this time, life brought me through many ups and downs: victories, failures, loss, love, and revelation. There have been many lessons learned and some I am still trying to understand. My last post before this break shared my struggle with keeping Jesus as my first love, too often caught up in life. This is what the enemy wants, to keep us looking inward at our wants, feelings, and desires; but inward is the gateway to selfishness. Selflessness on the other hand is what Jesus demonstrated every day. “…Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me,” (Matthew 25:40, NKJV).  And I must ask myself, ‘What am I doing for the least of these?’ Honestly, there is so much need that it can be overwhelming. There are so many hurting people, and just one of me, often hurting in my own way. It is only through the leading and discernment of the Holy Spirit that I can be effective. Sometimes God wants us to wait and pray, other times He wants us to act. As I shared last week God has been impressing upon me to be steadfast, this means sticking to my priorities. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said: “But let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes,’ and your ‘no,’ ‘no.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one,” (Matthew 5:37, NKJV). Every ‘yes’ is a ‘no’ to something or someone else. We cannot say “yes” to everything, we must establish boundaries and protect ourselves. Jesus Understood this and took time to rest, He did not always say yes, and he did not break His promises or make excuses. But He did always say “yes” to His Heavenly Father. If we are to live according to the Word, a good place to start is, “yes Lord!” This often means doing the hard things, the things we don’t want to do. It means sacrificing comfort for discipline, busyness for rest, distraction for attention. It means letting go of our to-do lists and embracing what is truly important. By modeling this in the way He lived Jesus taught us to seek His Kingdom first, to love one another, to be prepared. He demonstrated the importance of boundaries and spending time alone with the Father. He loved people well and stayed engaged and in the moment throughout His ministry on earth. While I may grapple with when to say ‘yes’ or ‘no,’ Jesus points us to the greatest priority, our relationship with Him. A relationship with our Maker takes intentionality, next week we will hear from another dear friend of mine as we begin unpacking the L in BALM, Living intentionally. Consider if your life reflects intentional living. Does your walk reflect Christ? Are you willing to say, “Yes Lord!” Please share your comments. Join the mailing list to receive an email alert for every new post! Blessings!

“Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 15:58 I don’t know about the rest of you, but this last year was tough for me through trials and grief, accountability and commitment, perseverance and longsuffering. When this new blog site was relaunched, I was trying to work towards some of these struggles, but I clearly wasn’t ready and just could not seem to get myself in the headspace to stick to my plan. In my acronym, BALM, I wrote about being consistent and attaining accountability, but I have not gotten to the second half of this acronym. Before I do so I want to set the stage for a successful year, following Jesus wherever He leads. Last year “still” was my focus word, which is where I came up with the name for this website.  Through the practice of being still, I have developed some good habits especially on meditating scripture and listening to God. But in recent reflections, I have come to recognize a weak area of my life that may be preventing me from getting very far and may even be rooted in a stronghold in my life, a wavering spirit. Let me explain because I have never wavered in my love for Jesus, but I often falter in my convictions which results in poor decision making, feelings of insecurity or inadequacy, and regret. From going along with a group decision that I don’t agree with to not enforcing rules in my home, there were too many times that I caved to groupthink and did not stand up for the truth. But this is not who I want to be or how I want to be known. Over the last few months, God has repeatedly brought me to James 1, which has a lot to say about a wavering spirit. In verse 8 we are told that, “a double minded man is unstable.” In verse 12 we read, “Blessed is the man who endures temptation.” In verse 22 we are reminded to, “be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” As in verse 23, I was looking in the mirror and forgetting what I looked like. Or more on point, I was reading the word, but not sticking to what God purposed in my heart. As I read through the Christmas story this year, a repeating phrase jumped out at me; every time an angel approached someone, their words started with, “fear not.” Fear has been my problem; fear of rejection, of failure, of being wrong. When we fold to fear, we feed insecurity which leads to a wavering spirit. But if we hold steadfast and stand up for our values, for truth, love, and integrity our fears fade. Merriam-Webster defines steadfast as: firm in belief, determination, or adherence. It seems as though I have stayed determined in only a few things over this last year. Often giving up when it gets rough, especially when it comes to differing viewpoints or even decision making with other people. The pushover in the room with no real conviction, honest to a fault, but not well respected because my peers see how easily I cave. This has been the source of work frustrations, but I did not recognize it until recently. This, however, is not who I am, I am a child of God. Romans 8:14 – 15 tells us that if we are led by the Spirit we are God’s children, adopted into His family. I need to start trusting myself and remember that often I am being led by the Holy Spirit and He knows better than anyone else. Whether I win or lose, stand or fall, I need to be led by the Spirit and I need to trust Him! As I had mentioned in my Christmas letter, Mary had to be steadfast 2,000 years ago as she went through the most amazing, but terrifying experience, giving birth to the son of God. Rather than running away in fear, she faced this challenge and greeted it as an opportunity. Friends, trials and challenges are opportunities to grow, will you join me this year in developing a steadfast spirit? Please share your comments or questions. Subscribe to receive an email for each new post. God speed!